Have you ever had a fear that felt silly on the surface, but underneath, it was tangled up in something way deeper? That is exactly what happened during a recent podcast episode with the incredible Dr. Adina Aldea. I want to share a little behind-the-scenes look at what unfolded.
This was Adina’s very first podcast interview, and I could not have been more honored to host her. She is our very own amazing Clinical Director here at The West Coast Anxiety Clinic, and she also happens to be a brilliant psychologist and OCD specialist who has been doing Exposure and Response Prevention, also known as ERP, for almost two decades. She brought so much insight and wisdom to our conversation.
When Doing Is More Powerful Than Thinking
One of the biggest takeaways from our conversation was something I have felt in my bones for a long time. Healing does not come from just understanding your fear. It comes from doing the scary thing anyway.
ERP is all about facing your fear on purpose in small and manageable steps. It is not about convincing yourself with logic that nothing bad will happen. Fear does not care about logic. Instead, it is about having the experience and learning from it. As Adina said so clearly, “You can’t talk sense into nonsense.”
And I got the chance to put that idea into practice in real time.
That Time I Did a Live Exposure on the Podcast
Here is what happened. I was sitting down with Adina, recording our episode, and I started to feel it. The anxiety. The urge. The voice in my head, which I call Brenda, whispering all kinds of catastrophes. What if you have to pee in the middle of this recording? What if you disrupt the whole thing? What if everyone leaves? What if you fail?
Of course, it was not about the pee. It was about disrupting. About disappointing. About failing. About being alone. Classic Brenda.
So we named it. We laughed at the absurdity. And then I actually got up and went to the bathroom in the middle of the episode. I walked slowly down the stairs, resisting the urge to rush. I even put on chapstick before coming back. I did the thing that scared me.
Facing the Fear Instead of Avoiding It
When I sat back down, I noticed something important. Yes, the anxiety was still there. It felt like about a five on my scale. But I was okay. The world had not ended. The podcast was still rolling. Adina was still there. No one had abandoned me. The fear that felt so big in my mind lost a little bit of its power.
That is ERP in action.
Adina explained that this work is not about getting rid of anxiety. It is about learning how to live with it. To stop letting anxiety make the decisions and start moving toward what matters most. That is not just therapy. That is a life practice.
Fear Wears a Lot of Costumes
One of the moments that really hit me was realizing how the same core fear kept showing up in different forms. Sometimes it looked like needing to pee before yoga. Sometimes it looked like getting every detail of my project management system right. Sometimes it showed up during the podcast.
But underneath all of it was the same thing. The fear of failure. The fear of getting it wrong. Of not being enough. Adina helped me see that most people have one or two core fears that just wear different outfits. When we can name those fears and face them directly, they lose their grip on us.
If This Resonates With You, Try This
If any of this feels familiar, here are a few small steps you can take:
- If you are already in therapy: Ask your therapist if they treat OCD and if they use ERP. Then ask how many clients they are currently treating using that method. ERP is a specialty, and experience matters.
- If you are not in therapy yet: You can reach out to our team at West Coast Anxiety or search for a provider on the IOCDF directory. Finding the right fit is worth it.
- Take a moment to reflect: Has your life changed since starting therapy? Are you living more of the life you want? If not, that is a question worth asking yourself and exploring with your provider.
We Are Not Trying to Be Fearless. We Are Learning to Be Free.
Here is the truth. Fear is not the enemy. Avoidance is. The more we avoid, the smaller our lives become. But when we do the thing anyway, even with our hearts pounding and our minds racing, we prove to ourselves that we are capable. That we can live fully even when fear shows up.
So whatever your version of a pee-in-the-middle-of-a-podcast moment looks like, I hope you meet it with compassion and curiosity. Maybe even a little bravery. And if your anxious brain starts spinning its stories, remember the question Adina and I kept coming back to:
But did you die?
Nope. You lived. You grew. You stepped into something hard and came out stronger. That is what healing looks like.
With warmth and a little caffeine,
Jennie